What Your Teen Wants to Know About Suicide & What You, as a Parent, Should Say
If you have a middle or high school student in Oak Park or nearby schools, chances are that they have had suicide prevention training at school.
Due to a nationwide push to increase awareness of suicidality in teens, most schools incorporate multiple strategies to address suicide and mental health concerns. September is National Suicide Prevention month, and many high schools offered presentations on suicide warning signs, and resources available in the area. These increases in curriculum at the high schools youth increase awareness, provide powerful knowledge, encourage communication, and diminish stigma and isolation.
Much of the curriculum presented offers our youth with a better understanding of warning signs of suicidal ideation and depression. Teens who suffer from suicidal thoughts know trusted adults to reach out to, and that they are not alone.
But, the curriculum rarely offers other youth the support in how to be peer advocates to friends that express suicidal thoughts. Teens with suicidal thoughts will often share these thoughts and feelings with a close friend prior to reaching out to a trusted adult, and it is crucial that we are equipping youth with an understanding of what to do in this situation. Not only teenagers, but also their parents.
“Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people between 10 to 24. ”
The 3 things you and your teen need to know about suicide:
1. Break the Trust
Often times suicidal youth don’t know who to tell that they are having these thoughts, and end up telling their closest friends. They may follow up the disclosure with a stinging “but.. Please don’t tell anyone!” That friend is then stuck deciding between getting help from an adult or breaking the trust.
Tell your teen that trust needs to be broken in this situation- it’s vital that they share this information to keep their friend safe. The trust doesn’t need to be completely shattered though- they can express their concern without having to break all trust of the friendship.
2. Involve Trusted & Trained Adults
Instruct your child to notify a trusted adult ASAP! Tell them to wake you up if you’re asleep or call you if you’re not together. It’s ok if you don’t know exactly what to do in that moment: but praise your child for involving an adult and advocating for their friend. If you know the child in crisis’ parent’s information contact them with your concerns. When in doubt contact the police or the local crisis line for support. These trusted and trained adults can help provide the youth with the follow-up support they need through a therapist or a school social worker.
It’s critical we convey this message to youth and parents: no one expects you to be a trained crisis counselor, or even when it’s ‘necessary’ to involve one. Instead, your role is to simply pass along your concerns to a professional who can more fully assess the risk and offer appropriate levels of care.
3. Answer The Cry
Myth: Talking about suicide increases the likelihood of that person having or acting upon suicidal thoughts. Fact: Talking about suicide is crucial in managing stigma and increasing awareness of resources and sports available. Talking openly about suicide shows others you can be trusted with these very difficult thoughts and emotions.
Myth: People who have suicidal thoughts don’t tell anyone these thoughts. Fact: People experiencing suicidal thoughts often feel stigmatized and nervous disclosing these thoughts. But, when they do share these thoughts with people they trust, it is a cry for help - even if they’re not directly asking for help.
It may be difficult to determine if there is a true threat or if it is a cry for attention. Even though you or your child may not believe this youth is truly at risk, and they may be just doing it for attention it is vital that they are offered the support. Regardless of if it is a cry for attention or a cry for help, it is important that the cry be answered. You are not expected to determine the validity of the statements, rather your role is crucial to linking to the professionals who can better assess the risk. It’s best to take every statement seriously, and have a trained professional determine the true risk.
Encourage your youth to reach out to that person posting the cryptic Snapchat post that may or may not be suicidal. Encourage them to check in with them and offer support, rather than thinking someone closer to them will do it. This is the small yet mighty way that we can all become better advocates for mental health- don’t shy away.
Make a plan with your teen regarding what they should do, and what you will do to help them.
Having the conversation ahead of time can eliminate the stigma and concern that may keep them silent.
If you need further support on how to best support your teen or if you’re interested in having Tina come talk to you or a group about assessing for and preventing teen suicide, please contact us.