Backpacks, Bedtimes & Burnout: Don’t Let School Stress Kill Your Relationship

As a therapist (and someone who’s watched more than a few couples go from “hot” to “help” once the school bell rings), I see this every year:
The kids go back to school, and suddenly your partner feels more like a co-parenting coworker than a lover.

And it’s not just you. Research shows that major life transitions, like the start of a new school year, can spike conflict and reduce emotional connection. You’re juggling morning routines, lunch duty, and soccer schedules… and forgetting the last time you flirted over dinner instead of passing out during “Bluey”.

So how do I help couples through it?

  • We bring back the basics: daily check-ins, clear communication, appreciation, even if it’s just for taking out the trash without being asked.

  • We revisit love languages. Know yours… and your partners.

  • We call out the stress and name the shift. That alone lowers tension.

  • And here’s my favorite playful tip: pack a love note in your partner’s work bag or lunchbox. Yep, just like you do for the kids. Corny? Maybe. Effective? Every time.

If you're feeling the disconnection, therapy can be the space to reset.
You’re not failing, you're just adjusting. And I can help.

Schedule a couples session and come as you are (even if that’s in yoga pants and griping onto that coffee like a lifeline).

Written by Hayley Caddell, ALMFT

Keywords: relationship stress during back to school, couples therapy for parents, reconnecting after summer, playful relationship tips, parenting and romance balance

Tina Shrader