Burning Out at Work and in Your Relationship: How to Protect Your Partnership from Stress

Work is one of the most common sources of stress, and when burnout sets in, its effects can spread far beyond the office. Research tells us that stress is contagious: as social and deeply connected beings, we often absorb the tension of those around us. This means that workplace burnout doesn’t just stay at work—it can spill over into your home life and strain your closest relationships. Learning to recognize the signs of burnout in yourself and your partnership is the first step toward protecting both from its impact.

Signs You’re Experiencing Work Burnout

The World Health Organization defines burnout as “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

The three major characteristics of burnout are:

  • Emotional exhaustion or feeling drained

  • Feeling disconnected from your work or increased cynicism about your job

  • Reduced sense of satisfaction or accomplishment in your work

If you are experiencing burnout you might also notice these impacts on your relationship:

  • Feeling more irritated by your partner than usual

  • A reduced desire to intimately connect with your partner - either physically and/or emotionally

  • Not being excited to spend time with your partner doing things you use to enjoy

If you recognize yourself in these signs, you’re not failing or weak, it’s a normal response to prolonged stress.

For the Stressed-Out Partner: How to Manage Burnout and Protect Your Relationship

If you’re the one feeling work burnout, consider taking a step back and reflecting on how it is impacting you and your partner. If you recognize your stress is taking a toll on your relationship, start by taking care of yourself and working on better managing your stress. Here are some strategies to start with:

Prioritize Self-Care

Engage in regular practices that care for your body, such as movement, nourishing meals, and quality sleep. Reflect on your screen time and how you spend your time outside of work—make space for activities that bring you joy and rest. Effective stress management for couples starts with individual self-care.

Tune In to Your Stress Signals

Work on understanding the physical, emotional, and mental signs that you’ve had a stressful day. This helps you communicate with your partner and implement coping strategies before stress escalates.

Create a “Leaving Work” Routine

Many of us work from home now, making it hard to separate work and personal life. Create a ritual that signals the end of your workday, such as:

  • Listening to a specific playlist on your commute home

  • Taking a short walk after shutting your laptop for the day 

  • Changing your clothes or closing the door on your home office

These small acts can help your brain and body transition from work mode to home mode and reduce work from home burnout.

For Couples: How to Protect Your Relationship from Work Stress

Both partners can take responsibility to be proactive in creating healthy boundaries around work that can help decrease the impact of work stress or burnout on the relationship. Here are a few strategies:

Practice Meta-Communication

Before unloading about your day, check in first:
“Is it okay if I talk about this problem I’m having at work?”
 Then clarify what you need: Do you want them to just listen, or help you problem-solve?

Utilize Your Support System

Don’t rely on your partner as your only source of support. Call a friend or family member so that the weight of burnout doesn’t fall solely on your relationship.

Set Boundaries Around Work Conversations

If every dinner conversation revolves around workplace stress, it can bring you both down. Set parameters such as:

  • Talking about work only while prepping dinner

  • Limiting work talk to the first 10 minutes after a walk together

  • Using a timer to keep work conversations from extending longer than you want them to

Talk About Work Differently

If conversations about work feel repetitive and draining, shift the focus to more meaningful questions:

  • What do you enjoy most about your job right now?

  • When do you feel the most confident at work?

  • When do you feel most supported by me in your job—and why?

Feeling the weight of work burnout in your relationship is common, and it doesn’t mean your relationship has to suffer. The stress you feel is real and valid, and with the right strategies, you can manage it together.

If you and your partner are struggling with work stress and relationship dynamics, consider reaching out for professional support. Our therapists at Empower can provide both individual and relational support to help you implement these strategies and explore the narratives you both hold about the role of work in your lives.

Written by: Isabel Caisse, ALMFT

Sources:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/protecting-your-intimate-relationship-from-the-impact-of-work-stress/

https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyone-on-top/202112/how-burnout-can-affect-your-relationship

Tina Shrader