The Hidden Work of July
At Empower Family Therapy, we know that healing work doesn’t take a summer break. Whether you're navigating a child’s emotions, your own overstimulation, or the invisible labor of parenting through long, unstructured days, this season can bring up a lot.
Child & Family Therapist Intern, Kelly Owen, shares a gentle reflection on the unseen, yet important emotional work that happens in July, and five therapist-informed ways to slow down with intention.
July can feel chaotic: sprinklers are going in a desperate attempt to keep the lawn alive, voices rise and fall through the house, and fruit flies have appeared in the kitchen.. The days are full of damp towels, missing goggles, and snack negotiations. But beneath the overstimulation, I’ve noticed something else: stillness. A quieter rhythm.
Something is happening, even if it doesn’t announce itself. A kind of hidden work.
As a therapist and a mum to both a teenager and a younger child, I sit with this tension daily. My summer is full of LEGO builds, teenage moods, therapy notes, and half-drunk cups of tea. But beneath it all, a quieter voice has been guiding me lately:
Slow down. Notice. Something is unfolding.
Growth Isn’t Always Obvious
One of the most important things I’ve learned in therapy is that healing doesn’t always look dramatic.
Sometimes a child builds a tower instead of speaking.
Sometimes a parent sends a quiet check-in email.
Sometimes a client stays in the room when they might have walked away.
Progress often shows up quietly. Like a garden, growth doesn’t only happen in dramatic blooms. Sometimes it’s just roots, pushing deeper. You might miss them if you’re only looking for the milestones and the breakthroughs.
July Makes Space for It
This in-between month softens routines and stirs emotions. There’s more space to feel what we didn’t have time to feel before.
But let’s be honest, summer can be a sensory nightmare.
Suncream on everything. Sand under the couch (how?!). Trampoline laughter when you just sat down with your tea. Is someone crying again? Pushed bedtimes. “Pizza for dinner again?” And baseball. Why is there always baseball?
Still, beneath the chaos, something softer might be emerging:
A loosening.
A truth surfacing.
A child saying, “I don’t know why I got so mad earlier,” or simply sitting beside you without a word.
This, too, is the hidden work.
The Guilt That Creeps In
Some days, I just want to sit alone in the garden with a book. And then the guilt arrives:
You only have a few summers left with them at this age.
Why aren’t you playing with them more?
Be present. Put the phone down.
And maybe some of that is true. But I’ve come to believe this:
You can love your children and still crave quiet.
You can want connection and still feel overstimulated.
You’re allowed to pause.
Sometimes the most regulating thing I can do, for all of us, is to model rest, boundaries, and self-trust.
Even in that, there’s healing.
In Therapy and at Home, Go Slow
You can’t rush this work.
Safety takes time.
Regulation takes time.
Connection takes time.
July reminds me of that again and again.
Slowness invites curiosity instead of reaction.
Presence instead of performance.
Witnessing instead of fixing.
If your child seems clingier, or you feel stretched thin, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means you’re in the middle of something unfolding.
Trust What You Can’t See
So if July feels too loud, too fast, too much, trust that something meaningful is happening.
In the quiet.
In the boredom.
In the background of overfilled tote bags and messy routines.
As a therapist, I’ve learned to look for subtle shifts, not just blooms. And as a parent, I want to say this:
You are showing up.
Even when it’s messy.
Even when you step outside just to hear your own thoughts.
Let July be slow.
Let it be loud on the surface and powerful underneath.
Trust the hidden work.
It’s happening, even now.
Invitations to Slow Down This July
Sometimes we need reminders to slow down, without adding more to our to-do list.
1. Choose a big, beautiful book and take your time.
Visit the library, pick something long and lovely, and read it slowly. Jot down lines that stay with you.
2. Let the mess happen.
Let the fort be built. Let the water spill. Then invite the kids into the clean-up. Little rituals help ground us.
3. Release the dinner guilt.
Simple meals and longer screen time? You’re pacing, not failing. Nourishment takes many forms.
4. Welcome big emotions, yours too.
Summer can be a swirl of joy and overwhelm. Let the feelings rise and fall. Try not to judge them. Just notice.
5. Make time for something that’s just for you.
A quiet walk. A journal page. Five minutes with your tea. You don’t have to earn rest, just claim a little piece of it.
If summer is bringing up more than you expected, whether that’s overwhelm, parenting fatigue, or emotional shifts in your child, we’re here for you. At Empower Family Therapy, we work with children, parents, and families to create space for what’s real, even when it’s messy (especially!). Therapy doesn’t have to be a last resort; it can be a place to slow down, reflect, and find steadiness together.
Written by Kelly Owen, M.S.