Reconnect Without the Eye Rolls: Play-Based Couples Therapy

Let’s be real. A lot of people think couples therapy means sitting on a stiff couch, dodging eye contact, and waiting for the other person to cry first. But that’s not my vibe, and it doesn’t have to be yours either.

As a Black woman, a therapist, I am someone who deeply values joy and love. I believe healing and reconnection should include laughter, movement, and shared experiences, not just clinical checklists and emotional homework. We heal better when we feel safe, and we feel safe when we can be ourselves.

Play-Based Couples Therapy is all about that. It’s therapy with play and humor. But also creative ways to connect, and a little fun along the way.


Why Play Matters in the Therapy Process

Growing up, many of us, especially in Black and brown communities, weren’t taught to connect through softness. We were taught to survive, to stay guarded, to stay strong. But love doesn’t thrive in survival mode. 

Play gives us space to let those walls down. It’s not childish. It’s courageous. It helps couples reconnect without rehashing the same argument for the 12th time. It helps people feel each other again, not just fight to be heard.

I value play because I’ve seen it unlock and heal people. And when we experience each other instead of just analyzing each other, that’s when the magic and connection happens.


What Can Play Look Like

This isn’t a trust fall and “If you catch me you love me.” situation. These are grounded, experiential tools that help couples get out of their heads and into the heart of their relationship.

5 Senses Challenge — Each of you explores your connection through what you see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. It’s deeper than it sounds.
The Conflict Balloon — You both name a tension point while blowing up one balloon. Then we pop it and talk. It’s symbolic, and yes, a little dramatic—but it works.

Is This for You?

This is for you if:

  1. You’re stuck in loops that never get resolved

  2. You want a version of therapy that feels like you, not something performative or draining

  3. You’re done with dry conversations and want to actually experience healing

  4. You’re craving connection that feels alive again

  5. You are a powerful couple that love each other but feel like something’s been missing

Basically…

If you’ve ever said, “We used to have so much fun together,” or “We don’t even feel like a couple anymore,” listen up. Your relationship might not be broken. You might just be bored, burnt out, or stuck in the same old patterns. Let’s stop performing connections and actually create them.

Written by Hayley Caddell, MA, ALMFT

Tina Shrader