3 Tips for Coping with a COVID Thanksgiving
This week is Thanksgiving, and if you are an emotional blender of excitement, gratitude, disappointment, and defeat you’re not alone. You’ve been with your family for a REALLY long time, and the idea of spending another meal with just them feels underwhelming AF.
Remember that social media experiment that was recently trending, with the parents telling their toddlers they can have an extra m&m if they “wait until mommy comes back?” This Thanksgiving is the adult version of that. Are you patient enough to skip this year to ensure you can spend future thanksgivings together?
If your social media feed is anything like mine- it’s been full of pictures and videos of large groups of people carrying on with life as if there is no such thing as COVID where they live.
It’s been difficult to stomach those posts over the past 9 months, especially so during our more recent lockdown.
Even though I know it’s coming- the posts that will flood my feed this weekend, of everyone surrounded by their loved ones with mask-free smiles, are going to hurt. I can already feel the anger and resentment bubbling up in me. The jealousy that some folks are able to go on like normal, while my family is separated and sacrificing so much joy due to this virus, is unbearable.
The ‘COVID mourning,’ continues as the holidays approach, and many of my clients are asking how to deal with the overwhelming disappointment while still enjoying the season. Here’s the game plan we are coming up with in sessions to prepare:
3 tips for coping with a covid thanksgiving
Find the Gray Area & Silver Linings
Instead of all or nothing, black & white thinking, try to find the grey- or if you’re looking for bonus points, try even looking for the silver lining. There is plenty to be disappointed about this year- that’s easy. Feeding into that disappointment too much will lead us to black and white thinking. “Since I can’t see my family, and enjoy our usual traditions this thanksgiving, then it’s not even worth celebrating at all!” Instead, try looking for the gray areas, or the silver linings. “Since this year is already going to be different- why don’t we try something new?!” Maybe you take a break from turkey this year and try roast beef or sushi. Maybe you decide to cater the meal and support local restaurants. Maybe you decide to host a Zoom cocktail hour or dessert party with your usual guests. Whatever it is- making the choice from a place of optimism rather than defeat will keep you in the holiday spirit.
Make a Social Media Plan for the Weekend
The free time of the holidays often means we find ourselves scrolling more than usual. Seeing others happy can often increase the joy we feel during the holidays, but it can also leave us with a Thanksgiving-sized portion of FOMO. Prepare yourself ahead of time for the posts of others enjoying the holiday you wish you could have. Make a plan ahead of time for what your boundaries will be and how you’ll know when you’re getting close to those. Invite your family to do the same.
Don’t be Fooled
Finally, don’t let the mask-free smiles of the people on your feed trick you into thinking that you’re making the wrong choice. We ARE still in a public health crisis. You know what is right for your family and loved ones. Your efforts ARE making a difference by sticking with your family pod and laying low this year. Your table being emptier this year means that your loved ones are safer. You are not alone in this.
